Monday, June 29, 2009

yeh mera maggipan hai

the only way to cook the perfect maggi is my way.

the cook must understand that the end result can never be ‘his/her special’. because maggi is always personal. it’s a refinement everyone of us is born with. give a baby its first bite and it’ll smack it’s lips and tell you exactly how to make it next time. therefore, the first step to the perfect forkful is always the maggi inquisition:

1. you like your maggi allfuckedup or unfuckedwith?

2. please specify:

option a) cheesy / buttery / no dairy…cooked with ketchup / with ketchup on the side / lashed on top / hold the ketchup…with veggies / eggs / sausages / any exotic ingredients you have discovered and cannot do without – eg: truffles, etc

option b) no frills

3. what’s your consistency?

option a) soupy / pan fried / pao bhaji style / dry / gooey / slightly undercooked / glutinous

option b) ‘woh wali’ feeling

4. please describe ‘woh wali’ feeling precisely, take your time…

5. anything we haven’t covered (please be specific. provide references if possible eg: we didn’t discuss what to do about the masala)

step two: always discuss masala. this is a critical point. some like it mixed into the boiling water before the noodles go in, some like it sprinkled in after the noodles have cooked, some like them to cook together, some like to add a packet and a half of masala, some like just half a packet, some like to chuck in a maggi soup cube as well.

step three: proceed as directed.

step four: hijack the maggi and make it your way instead. (hint: put in a pinch of salt, mix in a 100g pack of amul butter / 50 g (half a pack ) of amul butter and a cube of amul cheese, top off with exactly 5 drops of tabasco and a dash of ketchup.)

step six: enjoy your share and offer to clean up any left overs. it’s only good manners.

mentalie’s tip: it’s never just two minutes, it’s the perfect maggi. there’s a big difference.



*note to the wise and wary*
empirical evidence reveals that maggi is a highly addictive substance. you are liable to have maggi flashes for the rest of your life. they’ll catch you off guard. they won’t be denied, no matter how much you fight them. when the maggi sweats come, drooling and pooling up in your mouth, there’ll be only one way to go – charging through to the first forkful and then, charging on to the last. you won’t have the time for civilities with maggi. you’ll shovel it in, poach your tongue and throat with it, slurp it up, lick it up, and then look deep into the plate / bowl to make sure there’s not a drop hiding from you at the bottom. then you’ll stick your finger in and wipe it clean, just to make sure. some days, maybe you’ll go back and make yourself another bowlful. so you can eat it until you are SICK and swear never to look at maggi…until next time.

5 comments:

  1. I think I lost the Maggi fetish after leaving Nathu bhaiya :(...

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  2. Heh heh heh heh! I did not see Step#4 coming! I love maggi SO MUCH. Sigh... you don't get that thing in my city and that's why we get it anytime we to a city which has an Indian store - and boy, each time we buy 8-10 4-pack Maggi and each time it's all over too soon. Sigh.
    And yes, I agree, it's never two minutes for the perfect maggi. My recipe? Saute onions, beans, peas, carrots in a little oil till the onions are well cooked. Then pour in the water (225 ml per pack), boil it. Put in the masala and add the maggi. Add some butter at the end. *Drooooooooooooool*

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  3. mato: you poor thing...

    kokonad: step 4 is the KEY, heh...and thank you for sharing your recipe! it's difficult to go wrong with sautéed onions :D i often use them in my maggi as well...except i cook the maggi separately, saute up some onions and garlic (yumm!) and top the maggi with that...there's no denying that maggi is designed to make anyone a good chef, huh ;p

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  4. Oh great. You really DID a maggi post. Thanks much.

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  5. yes Maggie is addictive

    I remember being besotted when maggie was launched. u were probably in ur diapers if you were at all down here. It was the first food rev in india in ages...years of canteen maggie after that and I was on the wagon.

    I recently rediscovered Chicken maggi and had it for days on end in the evening. Had it neat though. Left my days of Maggi experimentation behind in the mid 80s

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speak on sweet lips that never tell a lie!